‘Sex’ is a term that never fails to garner attention from people. Sexuality is predominant in human beings and still they often try to hide it and pretend that it doesn’t exist. Countries exist that doesn’t encourage people to even have conversations related to sex as it is regarded as a taboo. The western world has been open about sex for quite some time. Through sexual revolutions people have got to open up their voices on sexuality. Still some have the idea that sex in the modern age is more about the ‘action’ rather than the ‘intimacy’. Is that true?

What is sex in the modern age?

If you are a millennial, then your views about sex must be quite different than what your parents experienced. People who are now in their 40s and 50s experienced sex in a different way. It was much more hush-hush and sex was something that went on between married heterosexual couples.

Now, sex is quite different. The world is more open to the idea of sex and people belonging from the LGBTQ+ community are getting their rights to love as well as marry. People are more aware about sexually transmitted diseases and AIDS isn’t something that will kill you. Birth control options are predominantly available and women have a say for their bodies as well as in the path of their life.

Dating is freer than ever before and several different websites as well as smartphone applications make it easier to find people for having sex. More and more people are opting out of getting married at a young age. Teenagers get the much needed sex-education and parents are freer to them on the topic. We have to say that it is very easy to find sex right now. It may seem that they are having a lot of safe, but some of the data claims that the amount of sex has decreased from the previous generations.

We think that there can be several reasons for which sex and intimacy can be on the decline. So, let us explore some of them and see if it is really a concern or if we are thinking too hard.

Reasons which may have reduced intimacy in sex:

• Options and Careers: In the modern age everyone has to compete against each other to make themselves known. People cannot stop and take a breather. A high-school student of the modern age has to think a lot about setting themselves in their career and they cannot think of getting married or settling down at the tender age. They may be having casual sex for fulfilling their sexual desires but that doesn’t always initiate intimacy or relationships. In case of the previous generations, seeking a career was often gendered and many women may have preferred to stay at home, but the scenario has drastically changed. The opportunities that are found these days were seldom found in the earlier times.
• Expectations and stereotypes: Have you ever gone through a fashion magazine? If yes, then you have confronted the expectations that people have out of their partners. In the modern age, people are used to craving things that are glamorous and perfect. People are scared to become vulnerable in front of their partners. When someone is hooking up, they have the option to pick and choose between people. Along with that they can also forget the hook up once they are done with it. Today, youths often have unnecessary expectations that have been bombarded on them through media. People have more body image issues than they ever had before and along with that they also feel less confident about themselves. People are often scared to get intimate with another person.
• The internet:If we could choose a global religion that is found all over the world, then the internet will be our mention. The internet has been a phenomenon that has changed the entire world and it has been an important tool of globalisation. The internet has also led to the decline of intimacy in the modern age as it has been a place where ‘robotic sex’ has grown. There are several hook up apps as well as dating apps which help people meet. Most people seek a temporary partner on these apps and these partners are often casual. People have garnered the idea that they do not need to stick to a single person when it comes to sex and they can easily change their partners.

On top of that, the internet has also led to ‘fakeness’. People these days can easily hide behind the internet and make themselves different from what they are in reality. This fake image often clashes with the real image of the person and they get scared to become intimate with another person. It has been seen that the dating apps are often inefficient when it comes to brining love and intimacy.

• Stress and pressure:Have you ever felt the pressure of setting up a good career? Have you ever noticed people judging you because of your failures? The modern youth does face these issues. They are often stressed out because of the different facets of their life which may include their job, school, romantic relationships and even parental relationships. As we said before, people seek to be ‘perfect’ in every way possible. The constant pressure of being perfect gives them excessive sex which is very bad for sex. This is even valid for those couples who are in love. They often skip on sex because they are too tired to engage in intimate sexual activity. In case of teenagers, they often face pressure from their parents who always pushes them to pursue a good career.
• Solo sexual fulfilment:There was a time when masturbation was seen as a taboo and young people were constantly advised to steer away from it. Due to proper sex education, more people are aware that they do not need to be shameful about masturbation and they can actually enjoy it much more. With the advent of better pornography and sex toys, people do masturbate more than they used to do before. So, on a busy day, a person may much prefer to masturbate rather than calling someone else.
• Reduced romantic relationships:There was a time when everything was tied with finding a romantic partner who will become your soul mate. The scenario is quite different these days. People are opting out of getting into romantic relationships which has reduced the level of intimate sex and they are much more into casual sex. Also, women know that they can set their careers themselves without relying on a man for financial reasons. We can say that in a way people have grown ‘selfish’ as they have learned to care more about themselves and about fulfilling their own dreams.

How to increase intimacy in sex?

If you are someone who feels that you lack intimacy with your partner, then these are the points which will help you out. If you feel that you are better off single, then we will never suggest you or pressurise you into an intimate relationship or into intimate sex. So, the points are:

• Have better conversations about sex:If you have a steady partner or if you want to have better intimate sex, you will need to open yourself up. Take time to connect with your partner or partners and talk to them about the things that you like during sex. Also, sex is a two-way process, so you need to ask them about their desires as well. You people can talk about the fantasies that you have and also have conversations regarding the sexual experiences that you have had in the past.
• Minimise disruptions:Intimacy can be garnered in hook-ups as well as in steady relationships whenever you are having sex. So, always try to keep as less disruptions as possible. Turn off the T.V and keep away your phone when you are looking forward to have sex with someone. Do remember that sex is more than rubbing your private parts. It is more about connecting to the person and about having a nice time which is pleasurable.
• Experiment:Are there any sexual fantasies that you would like to fulfil? If yes, then it is one of the ways through which you can get intimate with your partner. Plan things among yourselves and try to fulfil each other’s desires. This brings in sexual intimacy as well as mental intimacy. Also, try to have conversations while having sex.
• Go on dates: You may think that this is an old idea, but dates work wonderfully well. Dates help people connect well and the level of intimacy always rises when people know each other better. Also, dates help to take you away from the mundane life and brings a breath of fresh air.

So, love, sex and intimacy has definitely changed a lot in the modern age. The youths may need to reinforce and rethink their relationships. Or this can be a new wave of sexual revolution which brings a change of though. Whatever be it, modern sex and love has come a long way. If you are someone who would like to initiate intimacy, do follow the points that we have mention. If you are content with your life, then do not even bother to listen to other people!

See how to tell if you’re into an intimate relationship? Read this article from Better Help.